Let this be the day that I stop to care and pour my hate upon this world 
Look me in the eyes, tell me you don't feel the same anymore 
Look me in my fucking eyes 
Fuck what you think 

I'm so sick of all these people pretending like they don't have a darkness, 
All they harness is light 
Where there is love there is hate and all the things that coincide blind 
Our eyes and take over our minds 
I am hate you are hated, I've created you've created 
Now get it through your fucking head, we create hate 

Perfection is neglected now it's rough around the edges and the lesson that
We've learned; we have neglected ourselves 

Cram it down your throat and choke

I've only just met you. What is it exactly that you want to know about me? What is it with the identical subliminal messages that exists in the questions you  relentlessly bombarded me with? What are you trying to get out of me? I do not know what do you know or have heard about me, you're not getting anything out of me that's for sure. My lips are sealed. I don't trust you. Just because you are somewhat different from the others doesn't mean I would try putting my trust in you. Exactly because you are different, I will be extremely wary of you. Extremely wary...

Dedicating my holidays to work was probably a bad idea. I'm dead beat working almost 8 or more hours everyday  :/ I get lethargic too easily now... My body's aging a little too prematurely. School commences in a few days time and I've wasted it on work. Well, I wouldn't say wasted I am getting paid after all. Plus, I love the people whom I get to work with. So yeah, no complains. hehe

I would fight you with words instead of with my fists. Wouldn't want to dirty my fists by sinking it into that abhorrent face of yours. But I want to hurt you so badly. Till you plead me with your last breath with so much anguish. Beg me to halt with a voice full of tremor. Wash my feet with your tears, inferior one. I want to see you cry. I want to see you bleed. Fear me. Obey me. Don't you dare speak to me with that condescending tone ever. We're all equal human beings. :)

<3 .="." p="p">

I was once told to write down my Christmas wish on a piece of paper and hang it on the tree. So I did. I wished for daddy to be back home with us. Climbed my way up the tree and placed it on the star. Daddy didn't come back. Santa is not real. Wishes do not come true.

Never wanted to come, never did.

why is it that people are always shouting at each other? why can't they just get along? why must there always be a hurling of vulgarities and a spate of angry words. why the fuck can't you guys find a amicable way to solve your fucking problems instead of fucking raising your voice. I am sick of all this shit and its always the same fucking shit. why............ Sometimes, just sometimes, I want to kill myself. I don't want to live anymore. I've given up hope on so many things. Hopes on a better tomorrow, a better future. Dashed. I dont see it coming. Not even a slightest glimpse of hope. I just dont want to deal with anything anymore. I want to fall into eternal slumber. I don't see the worth in my existence. Wait, correction: I don't have an existence given the countless times i've been ignored by so many people. I am a fucking useless worthless pathetic self pitying low life ugly piece of shit. I want to die, the suicidal tendencies are calling back at me again. The minute i woke up this morning, i was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Pulled my hair so hard, so much came out. but suicide is both stupid and irresponsible. I don't want to die a weakling escaping from my troubles. Fuck you Julia fuck you.

Don't apologize. We don't always get what we want but if you do, cherish.

Tears welled up the brim of your eyes. Those somnolent bloodshot eyes. You're slowly losing your equilibrium. You find yourself losing position. You feel your sanity fraying. There are some people whom you miss, and you can feel the burnt embers searing along the edges of your memories as you think of them. You want to not give a fuck anymore but am too responsible a person to actually do it. I wish I could do more than just listen. I want to help you.  I'd like you to be genuinely happy. I'd like everyone to be genuinely happy. That'll make me happy. I hope once you leave this exhausting place, you'll be welcomed by a long lost well acquainted friend. Freedom. What you deserve most. Just leave everything behind and dive into a limitless peaceful world of azure blue. You can do this, i know it. Fighting!

Cry Silently In A Corner

© Juleen Adams

Cry quietly in a corner
Don't make a big scene
Don't let anyone think something's wrong
Remember not to be mean

Cry quietly in a corner
Don't drown anyone in your sorrow
You only have to live through today
You can kill yourself tomorrow

Cry quietly in a corner
Shield yourself from the world
For all they know you just like to cause trouble
Just a bratty little girl

Cry quietly in a corner
Don't let them see your pain
What's the most that they can do, help?
But what from that can you gain?

Cry quietly in a corner
They'll never know what's wrong
When you try to tell he says
"Those damn emo songs"

Cry quietly in a corner
Like the whiner they think you are
Like they care about the reason
Your wrist looks like it has bars

When you have so much burden, troubles and responsibilities strained on you, you cannot help but put all the blame to yourself. Why am I so incompetent, so useless, so worthless, so pathetic? Why can't things just go smoothly? Why am I always fucking things up? When will I be able to get out of this shithole? Nope, still no answers. I want to eradicate the hate in me. I want to stop being so enraged and infuriated all the fucking time. I've been told by a few of my classmates that I have been increasingly impassive. It's like as if i'm being left out. I am not as conversable as before. Not as sociable, not as outgoing.  Poly is an environment very extremely foreign to me with a plethora of so many different types of people. Most of which causes my inferiority complex to surface all the time. I guess, all I need is time to adapt myself and slowly I will be able to open up.  Hopefully my classmates are patient enough to deal with the "awkward loser" me right now. I like my classmates, I honestly do. I'm in a way glad that they told me that I could go talk to them if i ever needed a listening ear. Thankful.  They're all of different personalities but together they're all so harmonized, so fun to be with. Hopefully I'll be the one contributing in to the fun someday.
As of right now, I am a very troubled teenager.


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I've always been a distrustful person, always skeptical and dubious when it comes to the divulgement of my thoughts and feelings because no one really asks "How are you?" and "What's wrong?" because they care but rather because they are just curious and most of the time will you as a conversation starter with someone else. Soon, words spread like wildfire. I don't even trust myself sometimes which is pathetic. There are only 2 person whom right now I believe I can trust. Sadly, both of them are attached right now and I feel that I shouldn't be talking to them so much. Plus, they're very engaged with work and probably also as troubled with their own problems. I'm afraid I might be developing an emotional reliance on them, which is bad. Very very bad. I keep reminding myself that I have only myself to rely on. To stand on my own two feet. I cannot always be relying on people.

ahhhhhh blogger why are you not allowing me to upload photossssssssssssssssssssssss

-Wallflower

"Someone who isn't necessarily shy, but never really tells you a lot about themselves. They observe almost everything and listen to everything you have to say without criticizing or judging. These people are often the most sincere, kind, and wonderfully interesting people, yet fail to be attractive to the opposite sex for some reason. A person nobody pays attention to, and fades into the background, but are really genuine and interesting people if you take the time to get to know them."

I am a wallflower.