I think I end most of my posts adruptedly that's because I have a writer's block... Stupid dip shit brain of mine...

I've always wanted to grow up quickly so people would take me seriously. Nobody ever takes a kid seriously. The adults, they'll always be like "You don't know what you're talking about, you're just a kid. You're too young to know anything."  Even up till now being 19 i still get that. I'm not trying to prove that I'm real mature and ready for the world that kida shit.
Truth  is, no one is ever to young to know about anything. We're just too young to care. No kid wants to spend their childhood worrying about ther academics. Their future. The monthly utility bills. Homework. Health. No fuck that shit.
Kids. They witness everything but they're too young at that point to comprehend the situation.  Parents think it's okay to curse, swear, quarrel and fight infront of the kids thinking they won't be able to recall anything. It's actually etched in their mind and as they grow older, answers will start surfacing to the questions they asked themselves as a kid. They might even blame themselves...

The first day of school commenced with a 8am lesson... Dreadful... But I had somehow managed to forcefully wake myself up at 6am. I deserve a pint of ice cream!! I couldn't adapt to the sudden switchback to waking up in early hours so I was pretty much stoned throughout every lecture and tutorial. Thankfully it was only the first day of school, the teachers didnt go through much. Its great seeing my classmates again ^^
ooo, happy first day of school jane! So glad you're here in TP *hiak hiak* finally someone from fatfat i can meet up/ hang out with after school!

So, the world is a happier place when you're not alone. A misanthropist you are, when you find no one else there for you.
Have you considered that the ones whom you've known for the longest time are actually the ones pushing you forward? Not to your limit,but to what you can do so much more than you actually can. They are the ones who push you forward because they know your story. They're capable of reading you like a book. They know how you feel and how you're gonna react. They can't change who you are, but they accept you for that. Please believe in yourself that things DO get better... Do you really want to stay this way for the rest of your life? You feel impaired... take your broken wings and learn to fly, to soar. Be strong. Self love is important.

And then i found out how hard it is to really change, even hell can get comfy once you've settled in.
 I just wanted the numb inside me to leave. no matter how fucked you get,
 the sun will return and you come back down! 
The funny thing is all i ever wanted i already had..
 there's glimpses of heaven in every day!
 in the friends that i have, the music i made, the love that i feel, i just had to start again.. 

The days are a death wish
A witch hunt for an exit
I am powerless...

The fragile, the broken
Sit in circles and stay unspoken
We are powerless...
Because we all walk alone on an empty staircase
Idle in the halls and nameless faces
I am powerless...

Everybody wants to go to Heaven
But nobody wants to die
I can fear death no longer
I've died a thousand times

A wasteful universe 
And we don't know our soul was
Emptiness inside our heads
But no one dares to dwell...

Throw me to the flames
Watch me burn!
Set my world ablaze
Watch me burn!

How are we on a scale of one to ten?
You can tell me, what do you say?
Do you wanna talk about it?
How does that make you feel?

Have you ever took a blade to your wrists
Have you've been skipping meals
We're gonna try something new today
How does that make you feel?

Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
In this hospital for souls

Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
In this hospital for souls

Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me
In this hospital for souls

Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me burn...
Hold me close, tell me "go"
Watch me burn...
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me burn...
In this hospital for souls

Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me burn...
Hold me close, tell me "go"
Watch me burn...
Hold me close, don't let go
Watch me burn...
In this hospital for souls

Atomic Fest, Sound Wave, Spring Fever Tour, Vans Warped Tour..... gahhhhhhhhhhhh Singapore Y U NO BIG ENOUGH TO HOLD A TOUR HERE :{

Is it weird that I got a nose piercing and actually wanna leave my hair long because vic has both? He is too adorable ><!

Food trips with a bunch of good friends can never go wrong. The day we ate only ice cream for the whole day, hehe.

"Learn to control your temper. All he did was just asking you to shut up and he just pushed(physically) you away."

Like an evolving hulk, the wrath that erupts from within every single time i am reminded of that incident. Furious at what you said. Disappointment at its peak. "He's just a small boy plus he's unwell, forgive and forget." 
So what if he's younger? Does his ignorance gives him the rights to ask me to shut up for correcting him?
So what if he's physically unwell? Does that give him the rights to physically push me away? Boy, he's sure strong for a sick child.
Do i also get to go home early if i were to cry because i am hungry?
Am i also able to get special treatment if i hyperventilate every single time someone tries to correct me so that i am get away with shit. 
I know you're probably gonna think this is very un-mature of me, speaking of your favourite sick child this way. You're probably shaking your head in dismay while reading this.
Whatever la, I shouldn't be bothered about how you think when you didn't thought of mine when you said those words. 

Car horns are heard, breaking the silence of the misty morning hours. I've been awake since 5.46am. I'm alone in my room but i hear snatches of conversation float through the air. The things I could never comprehend as a child now all makes so much sense. Like a sudden epiphany.  I try to not blame myself but really, the memories that played in my mind proves too much of me being guilty. I am to be blamed. Being a kid back then doesn't change the verdict.

feeling a little unappreciated these few days but i guess this is how things work. I'm not angry or taking it personal, I just wish you had a better sense of planning

像个傀儡被线牵着走，完全没有说话的余地。拥有自己的主见却被别人住址，被别人控制，被别人牵着走。想要解脱可是没了牵着你的线，你就是一个残废。即将被遗弃的一个木傀儡。
我觉得我很像一个傀儡，只能跟着指示走。没说话的余地。很无奈。厌倦。 反感。  不知到合时我能鼓起勇气说我想走我自己的方向。