I can tie my hair up into a bun now! yay! a legit reason to post a selfie hehe

The sky was dark, all filled with gloom. Ladened down with darkened gloom. There I was in a lightless crate, floating on gigantic waves and furious winds. As I lay in the claustrophobic confines of the quaky crate in a foetus position, all I could hear were a thousand ghastly fingerstips tapping on the surface on the crate.
 I felt a prescene, there was someone else in this confinement with me. He called out to me, in a slow, soothing and warm voice "I know you're in struggling in agony, we're anxious to have you with us. You deserve to be somewhere beautiful, just like you. Come, I'll bring you there. Give me your hand."
Deceived by the alluring voice, I turned around only to find Demise staring right at me; and in that moment, my respiratory system was impaired as I felt death lay its artic fingers around my throat. Choking on inarticulateness, I struggled to stay alive but clearly Death was possessed greater endurance than me. I gave in... and again in that moment, I felt something. Only different. This time, I felt bliss.

What I treasure most.

Life is depressingly mutable and so are humans. I'm still struggling with and adapting to the new environment despite being in poly for about a year now. I honestly hate this place. Maybe just my course. Its hard to choose between friendship and grades. Recently I've been questioning myself if I really did made the right choice enrolling into TP instead of RP where most of my secondary school friends are. They're doing well in school, and they meet up pretty oftenly. I'm still trying to open up more. I honestly don't fucking know why I am so shy right now? Can I use shy on myself? For a lack of better word, yes I can. I wasn't like this in the past. I was a social butterfly, I'm not shitting you. I guess I got a little too self concious over the years and my self esteem started diminishing drastically to the point where I feel that no one will genuinely want to be my friend. Which is why I don't try nowadays. When I get introduced to people, all I do is just smile awkwardly at them and continue being awkward... I wish I could stop pitying myself. Help.

"自恋总比自卑好"       

Ive always believed that there is a plausible explanation behind everything and anything. Be it scientifically, logaically or spiritually. Like why are ants attracted to sweet things?  How does the helicopter work? What made Amanda Bynes go cray cray? How do you know if jesus really does exist? What is it about Justin Bieber that makes girls all over the world swoon over him? How is it possible that Jennifer Aniston is still such a babe even at the age of 44? These questions remain boundless, but there is a answer to it all. 

You are a intricate creature, you left me bemused. Bewildered by the confinement of reasons as to why are you ignoring me. The silence has never been more audible. I just wish you had a way to tell me instead of just giving me the cold shoulder. In person or virtually or whatever. I understand that some people are bad with words, or am lacking in the courage department. Just find a god damn way to tell the other person. No one deserves to feel left out, isolated. If you feel like whatever bullshit you're facing right now is going nowhere, then make it end. Be it on a good or bad note. Create a finish line for yourself, you finish it, look back and have no regrets. I normally do not address to issues/ rumours/ incidents that are not offensive or doesn't bother me. I'm still living the life. But I feel the burn every fucking time you ignore me. Talk to me, in anyway you are comfortable in. I'm all ears. You know that.