Bring Me The Horizon live was amazing. Amazing would be an understatement. Highlight of my year.

I shall start off with clarifying that the content of this post is not for the romantics, couples, enthusiastic Disney fans and for those who believe in this bullshit called "love" and if you are enraged, that is your problem. This is strictly my own inexperienced opinion, you do not have to agree with me.

I am a cynic when it comes to love( as if my introduction wasn't obvious enough). I can't say that it doesn't exist in my dictionary because it has yet to happen to me. In most of my posts talking about relationships, my perspective on it is that people are getting together not because they genuinely like each other but rather out of lust and loneliness. okay, so back on track.

If you feel that you and your current partner right now are going to last forever and have a "happily ever after" Disney ending. Sorry to burst your bubble, that shit ain't gonna happen. Welcome back to reality. Honestly I feel that no teenage relationships, or relationships in general are able to last forever. For sure you guys can last long but is the chemistry, effort and affection still there just like day 1? I used to be one of those judgmental fucks who would label girls as "sluts" for getting into another relationship almost instantaneously after a break up. But then I had an epiphany; the world population is estimated to be 7.1 billion and each and everyone of them are different. Along the way of our lives, we meet new people. All sorts of different people. Different in ways that you never felt with your current partner and that you find your feelings slowly gravitating towards them. Subconsciously attracted to them.  I dont blame them for feeling that way because its nature for us humans to want to try something new. We get sick of the same things sometimes. 

I feel like im wasting some of the best years of my life on feeling alone and being inadequate, wishing i was doing something else. I'm gonna regret these precious years... by feeling incompetent all over again. Can somebody help me please

I guess I just kinda gave up trying. I am inadequate and am always lacking in every department.

"Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern, just the slow erosion of self, as insidious as cancer. And like cancer it is essentially a solitary experience; a room in hell with only your name on the door."

Put flowers on my grave so for once I might look beautiful.

If a moving vehicle were to come charging towards me right now,  I wouldn't avoid it.
If demise were to stretch out his hand towards me, I might just join him.
Death, seems like such an appropriate resort to all my botheration and worriment.
I'm definitely heading straight for hell, but even hell can get comfy once you've settled in.
My life is like opening a can of worms, hampered with unpredictable and unexpected complications.
"Better days await" they say, but right now every second's soaked in sadness.

you deserve a cookie if you noticed some bmth reference.