I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said those words. I'm a lousy shit ass friend. I know its too late for regrets now. I know you hate me, I don't blame you. I would too if i found out one of my close friend bitched about my first ever relationship. I'm sorry........ I really am.

I like you but there is no point.

MISS YOU MIRA!!!

Can't believe i felt this tinge of jealously when this other girl got all chummy with you. like "wtf urgh, you get away from him, bitch." I was so surprised you said nothing when she changed your wallpaper but i could tell you were unhappy that she did. I was asked once if there were possibilities of me liking you more than just a friend. I said I don't know, i really don't. But he did warn me that i wouldn't have this sense of security if we ever did got together. ahhh fuck, why am i even thinking that far. I need to repudiate you outta my mind.

Turns out you're not leaving anymore. I cried for nothing but its okay, at least you're staying.

I get the feeling that you already know that i like you. Youve been treating me very differently nowadays. You no longer text me like how you would and even if i took the initiative, your replies are so indifferent and short. This is why I never wanna let someone know that i like them. things would always turn out shitty and it can never be like how it was.  but then again, why am i not surprised that things would turn out this way. Its always been this way for me. you like someone, they find out, indifferent treatment, back to square one of being strangers. sigh, forever alone. im such a loser...

I wish i didn't have to remind myself that there's only 19days left before you officially........ leave. Honestly I really don't want you to but who am i to ask you to stay. I've known you for about 6 months now and what transpired is still vivid in my head. I still remember how you would become very querulous when you're peckish, how I would lecture you on cutting down on your caffeine addiction. I even confiscated the drinks you bought. I recalled how we coincidentally wore the same coloured top once, and that was that one time where i reluctantly said yes after many countless times of you asking me if i needed a ride home. I refused but you insisted because it was raining. We hopped on the cab, there was this strangely comfortable silence and very naturally I leaned my head against your shoulders for the first time hoping maybe you would lean yours against mine but you didn't. Your shoulders felt comfy. Consequently you did. I loved that one taxi ride from clementi to serangoon where it was just us where i laid on your shoulders and you leaned your head against mine. We didnt spoke a word but i could hear my heart pounding like crazyyyyy. Oh, and the loquacious taxi driver who started talking about politics and you just  smiled and laughed awkwardly in acknowledgment to whatever he said cause half the time he was speaking in hokkien, a foreign language to you. I love how you would call me baby juls even though you weren't the one who created it but yeah. hehehehe~ I'm just hoping that the bali trip in june would really happen and maybe then, its really time to bid farewell.

I don't know what you see in me but thank you for seeing something in me. I love how you would send me pictures of your stupid face. I love how you would look at me with your eyes dramatically enlarged and pouted lips begging me to help you with something. Every time you do that, i would squeal in exhilaration inwardly wanting to pinch those chubby cheeks of yours so badly. Sometimes, i cant help but feel that my crush for you is a tad too blatant and i'm so damn petrified of you realizing or finding out. Things never turn out well when your crush finds out that you're crushing on them. I highly doubt you'll ever like me back. There are a whole lot more prettier girls out there your age with better personalities. I've come to terms that I really do like you. I dont know when did this started but it sucks to know that you're leaving. For good. I dont want you to leave. I guess no one does but you're leaving to pursue your dreams so i'm happy for ya in that sense. I'm gonna miss you even more, much more than I am already missing you now as i'm typing this. Sigh.

I like my short hair hehehehe

I cant remember when was the last time i actually used my laptop. The sense of familiarity of typing after so long. ahhhh, i do miss it. Yep, so school's started and i must say i quite like it despite the fact that i've to take up maths and physics all over again. Its okay, I can deal with it. I like my classmates, they're fun^^ Still in the midst of getting to know them better so awkward silences are inevitable. Plus i'm in the school of engineering, a male dominated school so i get to see a lot of eyecandies so that's a plus point for me! hehehehe . I do miss secondary school life sometimes. Tertiary life is a whole new level. New people, new surrounding. Oh, and i swear TP is influxed with scene kids. I've seen it for myself now. No doubt, TP lives up to its name of "School of scene". Also my self esteem is slowly diminishing everyday with the gargantuan amount of pretty girls in campus. Le sigh.

"Ehhhhh, today is Siwon's birthday!!" "And who the hell is siwon?" "Siwon is my prince~"   "Ok, well siwon was my dog"   *sends picture of Siwon* "Ohhhh, ya la that's him. He used to clean my toilet and polish my boots! Now i remember hahaha" "Asswipe! you no say that of my prince." "your prince is this one" *sends self portraits* I wouldn't mind you being my prince, protecting me with that armor shield of yours. wtf cant believed i actually said that