I don't expect a perfect life but just how many setbacks do I have to face before things can go my way... I keep questioning myself "why me?" An audible silence answers me. As much as I hate to portray myself as a weakling but i will admit, I have inevitably broke down a couple of times. Its like being pulled into a beautiful dream by an emotional craving that is stronger than your normal desires. You may gravitate towards someone or something, only to wake up realizing that your perceptions weren't real except within your own imagination. It fucking suck ballz.  Even if its difficult, i tell myself to slow down and deal with my emotions. Avoiding them by quickly moving to whats next wont help me in the long run. :/

With every spark of energy, I tried to contain my hate and disgust for you as you shamelessly speak of how self righteous you are. So egotistical and pious. All you can ever talk about is how vulnerable you are, how you are always being the pillar of strength towards me. No, i'm afraid i cant say the same for you.   You're not the only one whose sanity is fraying, missy .Bear that in mind, please. I am fucking sick and tired.

为什么你人那么好啊。。。

I wish my teeth was as white as in this photo in real life.  My diurnal caffeine and nicotine intake really isn't helping but my complexion is getting better so i guess that makes up for it hehe
I'm pretty bummed out over the fact that I can't go to KL to catch PTV's gig because of the stupid main exams and just when i heard they'r coming to Singapore, the tickets are sold out........ Fuck.
I want to hear them sing live, I want to cry to vic singing "Kissing in cars" live, I want to mosh to, okay I don't really mosh or two step(getting me to move my body rhythmically to music is almost impossible) I just get really high and I will start jumping and raise my fist to songs like "King for a day" and "Hell above". Fine, maybe I'm not a true hardcore but whatever, judge me if you wish. Your opinion doesn't matter to me. _l_  I want to scream vic's name till i get some serious shit sore throat. I want to see Mike's ink in real life. I want Jamie to sign on my OBEY T- shirts seeing how he's always in one. And i swear i will cry if they're coming along with SWS. I mean how insanely cute are kellin and vic together!?















On an irrelevant note, "It may be just a bad day you're having but at the end of the day, its not a bad life you lead." or at least that's what you said. Somewhere along that line, but yeah that was what I remembered. It was etched in my mind right after you said it. It makes sense. Actually a lot of things you say make sense, unless that is i am inadequate of common sense-.- I, really like talking to you. Actually i prefer listening to you, your voice and what you have to say. You see and you understand, and you impart what you realized to others and they realise and understand as well. I don't know if this post is even legible to anyone of you reading but i'm just glad i got to know you.

                                                Rakin & Farah <3 p="p">


School has been insanely stressful with the mountainous pile of assignments and tests i've to rush and study for. I hate school T_T
Spent quite a few sleepless nights, like for example, now and not to mention my depleting bank account given the amount of time i woke up late for school. Hence, cabbing....... Aish
I need so much self discipline to get myself to actually do something productive. I'm just thankful to have really awesome classmates and group mates to get myself motivated to study harder. I just really can't wait for the 2 months holidays to commence..........

Telling myself that this is wrong. Reminding myself to not think this way. Time is slowly working its magic. I can do this.

Why are you so dependent on others when you can learn to depend on yourself?
Why do you  want someone else to love you so badly when you can learn to love yourself?
Why are you so afraid to be alone?

I feel you charlie. I really do.

Materialism strikes.

You can try to break me down but I've got more than just bones protecting me.

2012 was not the best year but it was definitely the most happening year for me. My only regret was that I trusted too many people. Most of them the wrong ones. I am too indolent to type out the transpiration of 2012 and i've got work in a few hours time................. Even though its a double pay day I really don't feel like working. :/ ahhh quit complaining. I don't come up with new years resolutions because i dont believe in coming up with things you wanna accomplish only at the start of the year when you can always start anytime. Why at the start of the year when you can start yesterday, or last week? Why wait for a new year to try new things? I feel nothing about 2013, impassive. #whatsnew It is my last teenage year alright and i'm turning 20 the next. I feel nothing about that either. I wanna have something to look forward to, to feel excited about. Definitely not festive seasons, fuck that.

Homaigawd this is so fucking jizz worthy...... Fucking stoked....