So, the world is a happier place when you're not alone. A misanthropist you are, when you find no one else there for you.
Have you considered that the ones whom you've known for the longest time are actually the ones pushing you forward? Not to your limit,but to what you can do so much more than you actually can. They are the ones who push you forward because they know your story. They're capable of reading you like a book. They know how you feel and how you're gonna react. They can't change who you are, but they accept you for that. Please believe in yourself that things DO get better... Do you really want to stay this way for the rest of your life? You feel impaired... take your broken wings and learn to fly, to soar. Be strong. Self love is important.