MISS YOU MIRA!!!

Can't believe i felt this tinge of jealously when this other girl got all chummy with you. like "wtf urgh, you get away from him, bitch." I was so surprised you said nothing when she changed your wallpaper but i could tell you were unhappy that she did. I was asked once if there were possibilities of me liking you more than just a friend. I said I don't know, i really don't. But he did warn me that i wouldn't have this sense of security if we ever did got together. ahhh fuck, why am i even thinking that far. I need to repudiate you outta my mind.

Turns out you're not leaving anymore. I cried for nothing but its okay, at least you're staying.

I get the feeling that you already know that i like you. Youve been treating me very differently nowadays. You no longer text me like how you would and even if i took the initiative, your replies are so indifferent and short. This is why I never wanna let someone know that i like them. things would always turn out shitty and it can never be like how it was.  but then again, why am i not surprised that things would turn out this way. Its always been this way for me. you like someone, they find out, indifferent treatment, back to square one of being strangers. sigh, forever alone. im such a loser...

I wish i didn't have to remind myself that there's only 19days left before you officially........ leave. Honestly I really don't want you to but who am i to ask you to stay. I've known you for about 6 months now and what transpired is still vivid in my head. I still remember how you would become very querulous when you're peckish, how I would lecture you on cutting down on your caffeine addiction. I even confiscated the drinks you bought. I recalled how we coincidentally wore the same coloured top once, and that was that one time where i reluctantly said yes after many countless times of you asking me if i needed a ride home. I refused but you insisted because it was raining. We hopped on the cab, there was this strangely comfortable silence and very naturally I leaned my head against your shoulders for the first time hoping maybe you would lean yours against mine but you didn't. Your shoulders felt comfy. Consequently you did. I loved that one taxi ride from clementi to serangoon where it was just us where i laid on your shoulders and you leaned your head against mine. We didnt spoke a word but i could hear my heart pounding like crazyyyyy. Oh, and the loquacious taxi driver who started talking about politics and you just  smiled and laughed awkwardly in acknowledgment to whatever he said cause half the time he was speaking in hokkien, a foreign language to you. I love how you would call me baby juls even though you weren't the one who created it but yeah. hehehehe~ I'm just hoping that the bali trip in june would really happen and maybe then, its really time to bid farewell.